Monday, September 18, 2006

old diary

i have tonnes of old diaries that look like this. these are a few pages i scanned. my writing is really tiny. i would cram every inch of the book with something. i was a compulsive recorder. everything i read, saw, dreamt or felt, had to, in some way, get recorded. flowers, poems, drawings... it's all in there. sometimes (most times) if i look at them i get that creepy "old me" feeling. a lot of the writing i don't like at all, ofcourse. the dreams are interesting. i used to record every dream i had right when i woke up. this particular part is from april 1992. i was in europe for a few months with school, so there are many overly romantic, embellished poems about european cities. ecck. example: "Budapest held all the power and sadness of a summer night, a night inwhich one feels lost in their own backyard and the sweet humidity reminds of old lusts...... wander the labyrinth in cruel enigma.... blah blah blah.... smile in the ectasy of experience, ....the pure pleasure of having been loved, for here, outside the maze all that's left is miss and sorrow, a deep longing like that of a boy for his heroic father." yes it's cringe-worthy. and Incoherent. why can't teens make sense? There are also quotes I'd come upon. "Some day all art will be light" Henry Matisse.

Now I write very little and when I do I try to be concise. Fewer the words the better, more efficient. Brevity is the sister of talent... someone said that. I can't find it in my screwy diaries because they are a MESS.

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